


Phase One

by IronWoman359



Series: Sanders Sides Marvel AU [3]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Crossover, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-22
Updated: 2019-01-01
Packaged: 2019-08-27 20:22:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16709386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IronWoman359/pseuds/IronWoman359
Summary: Thomas is laying low after his car accident, when he is visited by a stranger in a suit. His first thought is that his worst fears have come true…but have they really?





	1. The Avengers Initiative

Thomas was pretty sure that every person he passed on the street could hear his heart, it was beating so loudly. The  _ba-dum ba-dum_ hammering in his chest was surely a dead giveaway, people would realize something was wrong, they’d give him funny looks, they’d ask questions. 

_Hurry up, hurry up, get out of here, they’re all going to see you, they’re all going to know._

The voice in his head was panicked, urging him to keep moving, to keep his head down and hurry home as fast as he good. 

_Hey Kiddo, just relax._

This voice was calmer, soothing.

_Focus on one thing at a time, once you get home we can break this down._

Another one, calculating and sure. 

An ordinary person might have been concerned about the multitude of voices bouncing around inside their skull, but Thomas was not an ordinary person. 

As soon as he got to his apartment, Thomas locked the door behind him, then double checked to make sure all the blinds were closed. They were, of course, since he hardly ever opened them in the first place, but that nagging voice was still there in the back of his head, telling him to be sure. 

“Okay, we’re clear,” he said aloud, and the nagging voice in his head  _left_  his head, and took a seat on the landing of the apartment stairs.

“Not good, not good, this is  _not good!”_ Virgil muttered, fidgeting with the sleeves of his hoodie.

“Hey Virge, c’mon.” 

It was the calm voice, now standing with his back to the window blinds. 

“Take a deep breath, okay hon?” Patton continued, walking over to where Virgil was sitting and getting down next to him. “It’ll be okay.” He placed a comforting hand on Virgil’s back, and the anxious side relaxed visibly. 

“Alright,” came the practical voice from beside the couch. “We are home. We are alone, and out of immediate danger of discovery. Let’s take a moment to assess the situation, shall we?” 

“Honestly Logan, what is there to assess?” a fourth voice asked, the person it belonged to appearing beside the TV. “No offense to you of course, Dark and Stormy Knight, but why are we so worked up about this!? We saved the day! Thomas is a hero!” 

“What is there to  _assess?”_  Virgil asked, incredulous. “Roman, we were  _seen!_ You heard the police, people said that they saw a man with a hoodie and a man with glasses and a polo shirt helping Thomas get those kids out.” 

Virgil gestured frantically at himself and Patton. 

“That was  _us._  We were **_seen!”_**

“Yes, we were seen,” Logan agreed. “But only by a few people, and the authorities seemed to accept our testimony. After all, we are here at home now, not still at the station, are we not?” 

“I…I guess.” 

“Considering all the possible worst case scenarios you had in mind for what would happen to Thomas if the outside world ever did find out about us, it’s fair to say that we are actually doing quite well.” 

“I…” Virgil took a deep breath, and peered up at Logan through his bangs. “You’re right, Lo. Thanks.” 

Patton squeezed Virgil’s hand encouragingly, and Thomas found it a little easier to breathe as his anxiety calmed down. He sank onto the couch, running a hand through his hair as he let his mind relax. 

“So like, I don’t want to stress you out or anything,” Roman began, and Thomas could feel the creative side’s excitement buzzing at the back of his skull. “But  _Patton,_  that was so cool what you did with those girls! How long have you been able to heal people like that? It was amazing!” 

Patton shrugged, looking down at his hands. 

“I didn’t know I could do it until right then,” he admitted. 

“Did you have to focus to perform the act, like when you influence people?” Logan asked, his voice full of interest as he leaned toward the moral side. “Or was it like your empathy, and it just  _happened_  without any thought?” 

“The latter,” Patton replied. “When I touched the injured girl…it was like my body just knew what to do.” 

“Fascinating…” Logan stared at Patton like he’d never seen him before. “When you healed her, did—” 

_“Ahem,”_  Thomas cleared his throat, causing all four sides to look over at him. “I’m sure you guys have a lot you want to talk about with all of this, but do you think you could do it in the mindscape? I…I think I’m going to lie down for awhile.” 

“Ah yes, of course. My apologies, you must be exhausted with all the day’s events. First the crash itself, then the mentally trying task of giving your testimony at the police station coupled with the panic of hearing that some people had evidently seen Patton and Virgil—” 

“Yeah, I think he get’s it, Logan,” Virgil interrupted. The anxious side looked up at their host, worry still clear in his eyes. “Get some rest…and be careful. Stick to the house for a few days, we don’t want to draw any more attention to ourselves.” 

Thomas nodded in agreement as the sides sank out of sight, back into where they resided in his mind. He sighed, and lay back on the couch, not even able to muster the energy to get up and go to his bedroom. As his eyes drifted closed, memories flooded his mind. 

_Being pinned by both his seat belt and the airbag, unable to move enough to reach the buckle. Virgil appearing in the passenger seat next to him, frantically yanking on the strap of the belt until Thomas was free, and dragging him from the wreckage of his car. Patton screaming in his ear that the other car was on its side, and its passengers could be **hurt** , they had to  **help**. Virgil ripping the minivan’s door off its hinges and Patton helping the children inside crawl out. The panic on both sides faces when they realized that they were out in the open and that people had seen them. _

Thomas groaned and rolled over, pressing his face into a throw pillow. Everything would be fine, it had to be. Virgil was right, he just had to lay low for a few days. Then, hopefully everything would be back to normal. 

He should have known that in his life, there was no such thing as normal. 

* * *

Three days after the crash, Thomas’s doorbell rang. He could feel Virgil’s apprehension as he stood to answer it, but it was probably just one of his friends coming to check up on him after the crash. Despite numerous tweets and texts assuring that he was alright, his friends tended to be worriers, and Thomas wouldn’t put it past a few of them to show up unprompted at his place demanding real proof that he was alright. 

So when Thomas opened the door and saw a man in a black suit and sunglasses standing on his doorstep, his heart just about stopped beating altogether.

“Thomas Sanders.” It wasn’t a question, merely a statement of fact, and Thomas felt a chill go down his spine. 

“Y-yes?” he asked, trying to keep a tremor from his voice. 

The man reached up and took off his sunglasses, revealing pale blue eyes beneath the black mirrored lenses. Despite the fact that Thomas could feel his heart pounding in his chest and Virgil kicking into overdrive in his mind, he couldn’t help but notice the crinkles in the corners of the man’s eyes and the laugh lines around his mouth. 

Virgil was screaming  _danger danger danger!_ but Thomas couldn’t help but hear Patton’s influence too, a soft yet persistent hope that maybe, just maybe, this man wasn’t here to hurt them. 

“My name is Agent Coulson,” the man said. At the word ‘agent’ all other forces were drowned out in Thomas’s mind as Virgil grew louder,  _DANGER DANGER DANGER!_

“I’d like to talk to you about the car accident that took place a few days ago,” the man continued, and Thomas swallowed thickly. 

“W-what is there to talk about?” he asked. “I already gave the police my statement.” 

In response, Coulson held up a smart phone, a video playing on the screen. The footage was black and white, and a little grainy, but as Thomas squinted to make out what he was watching the blood drained from his face. It was security footage of the corner the accident had been on, and it clearly showed Virgil ripping the minivan’s door off its hinges and helping Thomas climb into the car. 

“It seems that there are a few details missing from the police report,” Coulson said, his voice light. He could have been merely discussing the weather for all his tone suggested. 

Thomas swallowed again and looked up at the stranger, trying to find something to say. Before he could form words properly, an arm shot out in front of him, pushing him back a few inches. He turned just in time to see Virgil step in front of him, a snarl on his face and a fire in his eyes. 

**“Back off,”**  he growled, his voice heavy and layered. His eyes flashed, and Coulson staggered backwards a step. **“Leave us alone.”**

“Virgil, wait!” Patton appeared on Thomas’s other side, and made a grab for Virgil’s arm. “What are you doing?” 

**“My job, Patton,”** Virgil said, dodging Patton’s hand.  **“I’m protecting us.”**

“Just give him a chance!” Patton insisted. “We don’t even know why he’s here!” 

**“He’s an _agent_  Patton. He’s here to take Thomas away!  And I am  _not_  letting that happen.” **Virgil fixed his glare back on Coulson, a snarl on his lips to match.  **“You hear me?”**

“Yes,” Coulson replied, startling everyone. His face was a bit pale, but he kept his gaze steadily on Virgil, despite the negative energy radiating from the side. 

“I hear you,” he continued. “And I promise that no one is taking anyone away. Do  _you_  hear  _me?”_

Thomas and the two sides stared at Coulson, all three of them at a loss for words. Virgil was the first to recover, not easing up his approach. 

**“What do you want?”**

“To talk to you. That’s all, I promise.” 

The three Sanders exchanged glances. 

“Hear him out, at least?” Patton begged, and for a painstakingly long moment, everyone was silent. 

Finally, Virgil nodded and stepped back, allowing Thomas to take the lead once more. 

“So uh…come on in, I guess,” Thomas stammered, gesturing Coulson inside. 

Coulson sat down at Thomas’s kitchen table, and after a moment, Thomas joined him, Virgil and Patton staying standing behind him. Patton had a comforting hand on Thomas’s shoulder, and Virgil’s eyes never left Coulson, distrust still clearly written on his face. 

“So, you are Thomas Sanders,” the agent began, nodding to Thomas. “And these people are…?” 

“Well…” Thomas glanced back at Virgil and Patton before continuing, “These are my sides.” 

“My name’s Patton!” 

Patton’s voice was was as cheerful as the smile plastered on his face, but Thomas knew his sides well. Yes, Patton wanted to give Coulson a chance, but he was still apprehensive. Thomas was suddenly very grateful for Virgil’s presence. Speaking of Virgil… 

Thomas glanced up at him, and the anxious trait sighed. 

“Virgil,” he grumbled, folding his arms. 

“Hold on now, if we’re doing introductions, I feel as though we should all be present!” 

Roman popped up next to Patton, causing both Virgil and Coulson to jump in surprise. 

“Jeez, Roman, give a guy a heart attack,” Virgil muttered. 

“So…you’re Roman then,” Coulson said slowly, taking in the new side before him. 

“Yes I—Hey wait a minute!” Roman folded his arms and pouted at Virgil. “You stole my name reveal, Virge!” 

“Hey, take it easy, Kiddo” Patton warned. “Let’s not do this right now?” 

“I agree with Patton,” Logan said, appearing next to Virgil. “There are much bigger things going on right now than you two and your incessant banter.” Logan glanced over the rims of his glasses at Coulson. “Greetings, by the way, my name is Logan.” 

Coulson nodded in greeting as Roman huffed and made faces at Virgil. 

“Are there any more of you that I should be prepared to see pop into existence out of nowhere?” he asked casually. 

Virgil and Logan exchanged an uncomfortable glance and Patton shifted his weight between his feet, but Thomas shook his head. 

“No, it’s just the four of them. Logan is my Logical side, Roman is my Creative side, Patton is my Moral and Emotional side, and Virgil is my Anxious side.” 

Coulson raised an eyebrow, not missing the change in the sides’ moods, but he made no comment on it. 

“Can you explain to me what you mean by  _side_?” 

So Thomas did. 

He explained how the aspects of his personality had been in his head since he was a child; how by the time he was in preschool they could appear physically in the world. He described how the sides were  _him,_  but how they were also their own people, who had started going by real names by the time he reached puberty, growing to encompass more than just basic functions. He told Coulson about the times growing up that they had learned that the sides could do things normal humans couldn’t, like sense people’s emotions or conjure items. 

The others interjected when needed, the five of them blending together and working as a team perfectly. They were all hesitant at first, but Coulson was a good listener, and none of them had been expecting telling their story to feel so… _liberating._  Even Virgil cracked a small smile when Patton gushed about his ability to become super strong or fast if Thomas was in danger and how it had kept Thomas from breaking his leg as a child. 

“So that is what happened in the accident,” Coulson reasoned aloud, and the anxious side nodded, though he still held a bit of distrust in his eyes. 

“Thomas was, and  _always is,_  the number one priority,” Virgil said slowly. “But in that instance, even though Thomas was safe, other people weren’t, and Patton’s sense of morality making Thomas want to help kept my rush going.” 

“I see…” Coulson nodded, looking thoughtful. 

“We have told you the basic premise of what there is to know about us,” Logan spoke up. “But you have yet to explain what your purpose here is, besides mere curiosity.” 

“Well, if you want to be technical, curiosity  _is_  the reason I’m here,” Coulson said with a playful smile. 

“Bull,” Virgil said forcefully, and the smile slid from Coulson’s face, “you introduced yourself as Agent, but you didn’t mention what agency you’re in. You had footage of us at the crash site, on a phone that looks a little more advanced than the latest iPhone, by the way. You want something.” 

The others all turned in unison to look at Coulson, and after a moment, another small smile slipped onto his face. 

“You’re quite perceptive,” he said, before reaching into his jacket and pulling out a badge, placing it on the table. “I’m with S.H.I.E.L.D. And I did come here with a specific purpose.” 

“Shield?” Logan asked as Virgil reached forward and grabbed the badge, examining it closely. 

“It stands for Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division,” Coulson explained. 

“Hmm. I am not familiar with that organization,” Logan admitted, peering over Virgil’s shoulder at the badge. 

“Most people aren’t. We tend to stay out of the public’s eye, and handle a lot more…well,  _unusual_ cases.” 

“Such as?” Virgil asked, clearly still skeptical. 

“Such as trying to manage the Iron Man situation. We had an agent on the ground at the Stark Expo, and without her, Hammer and Vanko would not have been stopped.” 

“You know Tony Stark?” Logan asked at the same time Roman said “You work with Iron Man?” 

Coulson nodded and continued. 

“Did you happen to see any news coverage of the incident in New Mexico last week?” 

Thomas nodded. He’d seen the news, everyone had. It was insane. Nearly unbelievable…then again, his whole life was sort of unbelievable, wasn’t it?

“We were the people on the scene investigating the hammer. Anything deemed too unusual or dangerous for regular law enforcement, and S.H.I.E.L.D. is there.” 

Virgil narrowed his eyes. 

“Does that mean you think we’re too dangerous for regular law enforcement?” he asked warily.  

“Part of my mission was to determine whether or not you posed any threat, yes,” Coulson admitted.  

Virgil’s eyes, if possible, narrowed even further, and he shifted to stand a little closer to Thomas. 

“And what did you determine?” Logan asked, discreetly laying a hand on Virgil’s shoulder. 

“From what you’ve told me so far, I’ve come to the conclusion that an individual capable of everything you are could potentially endanger those around them.” 

Logan squeezed Virgil’s shoulder as the anxious side tensed.

“However,” Coulson continued, “Given the amount of influence that Morality has over your decisions—” Patton smiled— “My conclusion is that  _you_ yourself do not threaten anyone.” 

Virgil released a breath, and some of the tightness in Thomas’s shoulders loosened.

“So…where does that leave us?” Thomas asked carefully. 

“It leaves us with this question,” Coulson said. “Would you be interested in coming in?” 

“Coming…in?” 

“Coming in to work as an agent,” Coulson clarified. “Specifically, we’d like to consider you for placement in a program called the Avenger’s Initiative, though that determination would be made at a later date, after basic training.”

“Whoa, what?” Virgil asked, his eyebrows shooting upwards. 

“While not necessarily threatening, your abilities could be potentially very useful in a variety of applications at S.H.I.E.L.D. Working with us would provide you with the opportunity to travel, see more of the world—” Roman perked up a bit at that—” gain access to information not released to ordinary members of the public—” Logan raised an eyebrow in interest— “and use your abilities to protect and serve others. Patton smiled, and Thomas glanced around the room at his sides.

“Not to mention,” Coulson added after a beat of silence, “If you were working as a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, you wouldn’t have to fear discovery. Other agents would already know about you, so the four of you would be able to be manifested more often. And being at S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters would keep you safe from anyone else who may learn of you.” 

"Anyone else?” Thomas wondered aloud, and Virgil grimaced. 

“If S.H.I.E.L.D. found us after the accident, maybe other people could too,” he explained, glancing around the room as if the walls themselves might be hiding such a threat. 

Coulson nodded in agreement.

“While we would like you to come in of your own accord and have no intention of  _forcing_  you to do anything, it’s possible that other organizations may see the potential you have as nothing more than a tool to be acquired.” 

The sides exchanged uncomfortable looks. 

“Hypothetically,” Virgil said, his eyes trained on Coulson, “What happens to us if we say no?” 

“You’d be free to go about your normal life, though you’d be placed under observation, for your safety and the safety of others.” 

Thomas frowned. He didn’t like the sound of that in the slightest, but to throw his life out the door and suddenly become some sort of secret agent? 

“Can…can you give us a moment?” Thomas asked, and Coulson nodded. 

Thomas closed his eyes, and one by one the four sides sank out of view, Virgil shooting Coulson a  _if you try anything, you’ll regret it_  look before sinking out behind the others.

“Well?” Thomas asked, opening his eyes to see the four sides standing around him in the mindscape. Coulson was nowhere to be seen, and from an outside perspective it looked as though Thomas was merely sitting at the table with his eyes closed, though he’d be fairly unresponsive to most gentle stimuli.

“It’s certainly an interesting offer,” Logan admitted, adjusting his glasses. “I must admit, I am intrigued by the possibilities this path could hold in store for us.”

“As much as I love the life we have been building here, I must say that I cannot ignore the fact that the world has been calling to me,” Roman added. “There are so many adventures we could have, so much potential within you that we have kept hidden away in, all in the name of safety.”

“And what’s wrong with safety?” Virgil shot back. “Our worst fear has been to be taken away by the government, and now we’re supposed to just go willingly with them? How is that  _better?”_

“It allows us to go with them on our terms,” Logan replied. “We set the boundaries, and we are in control of our own actions. We are not being carried off to be lab rats, we are volunteering to work for a high class organization. That’s a big difference right off the bat.”

“And Thomas is twenty-three!” Roman exclaimed. “Your method has gotten us safely this far, Virgil, but we can’t live in hiding forever, otherwise we’re not really living at all!”

“And there was that other point of if we don’t go with Coulson and S.H.I.E.L.D. now, it is entirely possible that some less savory organization will find out about us and try to take us by force,” Logan pointed out. “It is quite feasible that continuing to live in hiding may actually become more dangerous than living and working at S.H.I.E.L.D. At least there we would be protected.”

“Patton?” Thomas asked, interrupting Roman and Logan’s exchange. “You’ve been quiet. What is it?” 

Patton looked up, meeting Thomas’s eyes. 

“I was just thinking…” he began. “None of this would have happened if I hadn’t insisted we help the other car.” 

“Oh, Patton, please don’t feel  _guilty_  about that,” Virgil said quickly. “I don’t blame you, I think you did the right thing, it’s just—” 

“I know,” Patton interjected. “What I’m saying is…the reason we’re faced with this now is we made a choice to help people. If we hadn’t, who knows how severe that girl’s injuries may have been, who knows if they’d been alright in the car until the ambulance came. I think…I think we’re being given a chance here. A chance to really make a difference and help people, just like we’ve always wanted to do…but we can do it without hiding.” He shrugged, and looked at each of the sides in turn. “I just…think that it’d be the right thing to do.” 

Logan nodded appreciatively, and Roman applauded. 

“Well said Padre, well said indeed!” 

“Virgil?” Thomas asked, turning to his anxious side. 

Virgil sighed, and wrapped his arms around himself. 

“I…I think Patton’s right,” he began. “But…I still don’t like it. I…” he sighed again, and cast his eyes downward. “I’m scared,” he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. 

“I’m scared too, Kiddo.” Patton’s voice was soft and understanding, and Virgil looked up to see the moral trait smiling at him. “But…we have to do the scary things sometimes, you know? It’s the only way we’ll ever grow.” 

The corners of Virgil’s mouth twitched with the hint of a smile, and after a moment he nodded. 

Thomas followed suit, and after receiving nods from both Roman and Logan, he closed his eyes and sank out of the mindscape. 

He opened his eyes back in the physical world to see Coulson sitting patiently still in front of him, seemingly unfazed by Thomas’s several minutes of mental absence. 

“Okay,” Thomas said, and he could feel his sides’ energies inside him, bubbling with anticipation, fear, excitement, dread, and hope. 

“We’re in.” 


	2. The Shape of You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In between training, Roman lets loose a little and experiments with his powers.

“Guys, watch this!” 

Roman snapped his fingers and his form shifted into a spitting image of Agent Coulson. He straightened his tie, and made eye contact with the other occupants of the S.H.I.E.L.D. lounge.

“I’m Agent Coulson, and I’m here to talk to you about the Avengers Initiative!” 

Patton laughed and clapped his hands. 

“That’s perfect, Ro! You even nailed his voice, that’s so impressive!” 

Clint nodded appreciatively, a small smirk on his face. 

“I’ll admit, it’s pretty close,” he said, taking a long drag from his mug of coffee. 

“Thank you, thank you,” Roman said, bowing. The very Roman-like action looked odd coming from Coulson’s body, and Logan shook his head. 

“If I had known that coming here would merely embolden you in your foolish antics, I would not have been so supportive of the notion.” 

Virgil snorted, and Roman gasped, placing a hand over his chest.

“Now now, Logan,” Patton cut in, interrupting Roman’s offended spluttering. “You can’t deny that it’s nice to be able to move about freely without the constant fear of discovery. Roman’s just excited! It’s basically the same as you asking the S.H.I.E.L.D. scientists all those questions of yours, right?” 

Logan sighed, but he nodded. 

“I suppose it is,” he admitted. 

“Ooh, ooh, check it out!” Roman said, snapping his fingers again. This time, his form took on Clint’s figure in full combat uniform, and Clint chuckled. 

“It’s missing the bow and arrow, but otherwise perfect.” 

“Say no more, my hawk-eyed friend!” Roman exclaimed. Another snap, and he was holding a conjured replica of Clint’s equipment. 

“You can copy it all you like, but I’ll still out-shoot you with it,” Clint taunted over the lip of his coffee mug. 

“Excuse you, but I’m showing excellent improvement in my shooting!” Roman insisted, shifting back into himself, still holding his conjured bow. 

“True, but I’d stick to swordplay if I were you,” Clint said with a shrug. “It’s where your strength lies, and it suits your aesthetic more anyway.” 

“And we all know how much you  _live_  for the aesthetic,” Virgil added. 

“I take that as a compliment, thank you,” Roman said, folding his arms. 

“Whatever,” Clint said. “Hey, you know who you should do next?”

 “Way ahead of you!” Roman said, snapping his fingers and turning himself into their other SO. 

“Looking over your shoulder needs to become second nature,” he said, tossing a head of red curls. 

“I don’t think Nat has ever tossed her hair like that,” Clint pointed out. 

“Hey, it’s not often I get to have such lovely, luxurious curls, let me live a little,” Roman pouted. 

None of the others responded, all sitting staring at Roman with varied mixes of surprised and horror frozen on their faces. 

“What?” Roman asked, frowning. “Is there something on my face?” 

“Not on  _your_ face,” Clint smirked. 

“What are you talking about?” Roman started, but he froze when he heard a voice behind him. 

“Obviously you haven’t learned the lesson yet.” 

He spun around, to find himself face to face with Natasha. Her expression was unreadable, and he staggered back in surprise. 

“Oh! Nat–Agent Romanoff! I, uh-” he spluttered, shifting back into his normal form. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…” he trailed off, his usual wit failing him. He waited with baited breath for her to speak, or worse, act. 

Then, slowly, an amused smile spread across the woman’s face. 

“Can you do Fury?”


	3. Not a Sword, but a S.H.I.E.L.D.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil has been acting strange during training, and Natasha is determined to get to the bottom of it.

Natasha Romanoff did not often take on trainees. She had many skills, but nurturing young talents was not one she would have counted among them, so when she received the order to return to headquarters in order to train a new recruit, she immediately wondered what Fury’s angle was. 

She didn’t have to wonder for long. 

After seeing the security footage of Sanders, it was clear why the director wanted her on this instead of in the field. He wanted Sanders for the Avengers. Which meant she wasn’t just training the kid, she was watching him. After the first week of their training, Natasha hadn’t even been surprised when Fury asked her to cc him on their progress reports; she’d merely sent him an additional report full of info that would be in a regular report, but that she knew  _ he  _ wanted to know. She’d been a high ranking S.H.I.E.L.D. agent long enough to be used to Fury and his antics. Oh, she sometimes wondered why he wanted her so close to the Avengers project, but she was in her element: working on one project publicly and another in the shadows. 

Not that she was  _ completely  _ in her element when it came to training Sanders. 

Just the concept of his “sides” took a lot of getting used to, and once you were past the concept of them, you had to deal with their actual personalities.

Roman was who she’d most expect to be agent material, the (man? side?) guy was energetic, passionate, and highly capable. Logan too was very fit for S.H.I.E.L.D., and while his strengths were mostly more suited for lab work and research, she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t impressed with how quickly he’d taken to a sniper rifle. Even Patton, though his disposition didn’t match that of a field agent, was able to apply his abilities in rather creative ways. 

Virgil though...he was an enigma. 

He honestly should have been perfect for the job. His abilities were extremely impressive, yet every time he used them in training, instead of bursting with pride like Roman or nodding with satisfaction like Logan, he would shrink in on himself with a grimace, sending uncomfortable looks to the others. Natasha could honestly say that not once during her years at S.H.I.E.L.D. had she met a recruit who was  _ upset _ when they exceeded expectations on a training test. 

However, that didn’t mean she didn’t understand  _ why _ someone would find it upsetting. She by no means had all the pieces to the puzzle, but there was something in the anxious side’s eyes that was hauntingly familiar. And whatever it was that was bothering him, it was getting worse.

* * *

 

Natasha hovered in the corner of the break room, watching Thomas interact with his sides. As bizarre of a group that they were, she found she only had to look at Thomas to see how they all fit together as one. Thomas was kind like Patton, passionate like Roman, intelligent like Logan and nervous like Virgil. He was somehow all of them, and yet he was still distinctly his own person. It didn’t make sense if she thought about it, but when she watched the sides and their host together, she knew it worked for them. 

Logan and Roman were in the middle of a heated conversation, though most of the actual communication seemed to be through wild hand gestures and pointed glares. Patton and Thomas were listening, occasionally chiming in, but Virgil was curled up in a ball on the couch, a noticeable amount of space between himself and the others. Patton clearly noticed, and had been trying to include Virgil in their conversation for awhile now, with little success. Suddenly, he perked up at something Roman said and he turned, chattering excitedly to the anxious side. 

But whatever he said didn’t break through, and Virgil only shrunk back, skirting away when Patton tried to move closer. He stood up, hunching  deeper into his drawn up hood as he headed for the door of the lounge, making some half-hearted excuse as he left. 

Natasha slipped out of her corner just before Virgil passed, ignoring his jump of surprise. 

“Hey, can I borrow you for a second, Virgil? I wanna run over the results of that last exercise with you one more time.” 

She watched his expression carefully, and as expected, something difficult to read flashed through his eyes before he nodded with a half shrug. She elected not to comment just yet, instead finding an empty conference room where the two of them could talk without fear of interruption or observation. 

Virgil didn’t seem to be paying attention as she read him the analysis of his latest test results, yet another thing that set him apart from the other sides. Roman constantly pushed himself to improve, and used his reports to do so. Logan was like a sponge, soaking up every bit of information about himself and his counterparts that he could, storing it away for later use. And while Patton was easily distracted, Natasha had found that if his results were presented to him in a simple, concise way that showed clearly what he could do and what he could still work on, he managed to apply the knowledge effectively. 

Virgil on the other hand seemed to have only two modes: absorb every detail at once and then panic about it, or let everything roll off his back to  _ avoid _ panicking about it. And  _ both _ were making it difficult for him to train effectively. 

Well, Natasha wasn’t going to let it continue. 

“There’s certainly a lot you can still work on,” she concluded, her eyes never leaving Virgil’s face. “But the data does suggest you’re on your way to becoming a fine agent.” 

Virgil didn’t respond for a moment, but when he realized she’d stopped talking, he looked up, a poorly concealed grimace on his face. 

“Oh...okay, uh, thanks for telling me, I guess.” He looked at her for some sign that the meeting was over, but she didn’t move, simply fixing him with and expectant gaze. 

“Umm...” he looked around, and Natasha sighed. 

“So...are you gonna talk to me?” she asked, and Virgil frowned. 

“What do you mean?” 

Natasha closed his folder and sighed, softening her gaze. 

“Look, I get that you’re uncomfortable right now, but you’ve been acting off, and you’re really worrying your friends. And that’s pretty much the opposite of what you want to do, right?”

Virgil looked down, picking at the sleeves of his hoodie. 

“I mean, I guess, yeah...”

“So, come on,” Natasha insisted, folding her arms. “Spill it.” 

Virgil didn’t speak, and as Natasha watched the anxious side pull on a loose thread, she suddenly decided that she was not going to let this kid’s first month of S.H.I.E.L.D. training be as bad as hers had been. 

“Hey, Virgil?” she asked, keeping her tone light and conversational. 

“Yeah?” he answered without looking up. 

“Did you know Agent Barton was my SO when I joined S.H.I.E.L.D.?” 

Virgil did lift his head at that, raising an eyebrow at the mention of his other senior officer. 

“Really?” 

Natasha nodded.

“Yep. He was the one who recruited me in the first place, and oversaw my training. Not that I needed to develop any  _ new  _ skills…more like learn to apply the skills I already had in a different way.” 

“Huh.” Virgil shrugged, turning his attention back to his sleeve. “That’s cool, I guess.” 

“Well, it would have been,” Natasha continued, and Virgil looked up again. “But I actually had a lot of problems with the training in the beginning.” 

Virgil raised his eyebrows in surprise, and Natasha didn’t blame him. He’d seen her in action during training, and he’d only really witnessed a fraction of what she was capable of. 

“Really?” he asked. “ _ You _ had trouble with training?” 

“Yes, I did,” she chuckled. “See, I was used to a very… _ different  _ kind of training. I had ideas about what was expected of me, and that affected my ability to work.” 

“Oh...” Virgil asked, clearly interested in spite of himself. “What happened?” 

“Clint helped me through it,” Natasha said simply, a small smile slipping onto her face at the memory. “He showed me where I was off course and helped to set me straight.”

“Oh...” Virgil nodded, almost to himself. He frowned suddenly, and looked up into Natasha’s eyes. “Okay? So what are you saying?”

She had him now. 

“Well, he couldn’t  _ do  _ that until he knew what the problem was. I was like you, I didn’t want to talk about it. That was what I was used to.  _ That _ was my training. But Barton chipped away at that, little by little, until I was at a point where when he asked me if anything was wrong, I actually told him. Once I actually  _ told  _ him, then he was able to really help me.” 

Virgil looked away again, but Natasha leaned forward. 

“Virgil.” 

The anxious side sighed, and when he turned towards her again, his expression was softer and more vulnerable than she’d ever seen before. 

“Do you know…what it’s like to be afraid of yourself?” he asked, his voice impossibly small. 

_ There it was.  _

“Yes,” Natasha replied without hesitation. “Do you?” 

Virgil nodded, and Natasha sat back, waiting for him to speak again. 

“Everything I do...” he finally said, his voice careful and slow, “is to protect them. That’s what it’s always been about. And...I didn’t always do the right thing, in trying to protect them, but at the end of the day...they accepted me anyway. That...was more than I could ever ask of them. Thanks to them...things have actually been good, these last couple of years.”

Virgil fell silent again, and Natasha realized she may have to do more prodding than she thought. 

“So what changed?”

Virgil sighed, and leaned back in his chair, staring up at the ceiling. 

“All my life, my greatest fear was always that Thomas would be discovered...and what would  _ happen _ to him if he _ was _ . And then we  _ did  _ get discovered, and...I dunno, at first it seemed like this was the best case scenario.” 

Virgil rubbed the back of his neck, looking around the conference room. 

“We weren’t forced to come here, we haven’t been locked up or experimented on, or...any of  _ those  _ things that I used to worry about.” 

He grimaced, and Natasha saw that old look in his eyes again.

“But?” she prompted. 

“But...” Virgil groaned and planted his face into his arms. “It’s stupid, everyone else is so happy to be here, I’m–” 

“A part of Thomas,” Natasha interjected, and Virgil looked up at her, surprised. “Which means that what you’re feeling is just as important as what the others are feeling.” 

To Natasha’s surprise, a tiny smile flashed across Virgil’s face at that, so quick that someone less observant might have missed it. 

“I just...” the anxious side took a deep breath. “Fear used to be my weapon. It was how I presented the world to Thomas, it was how I presented  _ myself... _ how I tried to keep control. And...I  _ hated  _ it, I hated every second of it. I wanted to  _ help,  _ but most of the time I ended up hurting them instead. I thought...I thought I didn’t have any other way to be heard. And now...” Virgil wrapped his arms around himself, and a lightbulb went off in Natasha’s head. 

“You’re afraid of becoming a weapon again.” 

Virgil nodded, and, if possible, hunched in on himself even more than he already was. 

“I thought I had left that behind me. And now...now  _ all  _ of Thomas is being taught how to fight, we’re being told how to make everything about ourselves a weapon. I...I don’t want the others to be...to be  _ used  _ the way that–” 

Virgil slapped his hand over his mouth suddenly, and he frowned. Natasha raised an eyebrow, but he shook his head, and after moment carefully put his hand back down. 

“I...was a weapon once,” he said slowly. “I don’t...I don’t want to be again.”

The two sat in silence for a moment, and as Natasha took in the thin boy with a baggy hoodie and purple bangs hanging in his eyes, she couldn’t help but see traces of a young girl that had pretended to fail her physical exams. A girl who every single day had been told what life she could live...and what life she couldn’t. 

“Virgil?” 

“Yeah?” 

“I’ve been doing this a long time. The life that you’re afraid of...that’s a life I’ve lived.” Virgil winced, but Natasha wasn’t finished. “But never here,” she insisted. “They may ask you to fight, they may ask you to do things you didn’t know you were capable of...but they won’t make you a weapon.” 

She smiled, and nodded towards the insignia on the wall. 

“There’s a reason we’re called  _ S.H.I.E.L.D.”  _

Virgil looked at her for a moment, then another small, rare smile crossed his face. 

“A shield, huh?” 

Natasha nodded again.

“That...that I think I can manage,” he said softly. 

Suddenly, a beep from Natasha’s wrist cut through the quiet room, and she reached up to the communicator on her ear. 

“Go ahead?” 

She glanced over at Virgil as she listened, and a grin spread across her face.

“Copy.” She put her hand down and turned to Virgil. “Well, I hope you're right about that.”

“What do you mean, what happened?” 

“That was Coulson just now,” Natasha said, standing up and heading for the door.

“Aren’t he and Clint out on a mission right now?” Virgil asked as he hurried after her.

“Yes. And you’re about to be too. They’re dealing with an 0-8-4, and things just got, in Coulson’s words, even weirder. He wants some backup.” 

Virgil’s eyes widened. 

“You mean...” 

Natasha nodded, and the two of them re-entered the lounge, causing Thomas and the other sides to look up. 

“Suit up, everyone,” Natasha said. “You’re going to New Mexico.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun dun duuuuuunn! Sorry to leave you all on a cliffhanger, but....actually, no, I’m not sorry at all, haha. Hope you all are enjoying this so far, I’m really excited to be getting into some actual MCU plot stuff now! A new years goal of mine is to be better about consistently updating my fics, so hopefully you’ll be seeing more updates of this in the future! Though I also have my other wips to juggle, so honestly, who knows how consistent updates will be XD. As always, thank you all so much for your kudos and comments, they absolutely make my day, seriously, I find myself rereading them over and over when I need a reason to smile. Also, if you haven’t yet, check out the tumblr askblog for this AU, @ask-agent-sanders! Love you all!   
> -Taylor<3


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